The playoff enigma that is the Boston Celtics

It’s funny the way things work. For the past few weeks, I’ve been waiting to write an ‘It’s a bad time to be a Celtics fan’ column. I thought for sure I had locked down the perfect moment when they lost to the New Jersey Nets (regardless of how the season ends, that should be viewed as the saddest moment ever), but they followed that up with wins in ten of their next 15 games.

Then came the losses to the San Antonio Spurs, Oklahoma City Thunder and the weakest Houtson Rockets team in history (they played without Yao, Kevin Martin, Trevor Ariza and Shane Battier). I was purely giddy with the amount of patheticness the Celtics had been oozing.

Only a beating by the Cavs stood between me and finally proclaiming the Celtics done. Then the unthinkable; The Celtics defeated the Cavs and Queen James, albeit a very ugly win. After losing to the Rockets’ JV team, the Celtics defeat the obvious favorite to wear the Eastern Conference crown? I should probably preface this article with a disclaimer.

I love the Celtics. Not love like, “Oh there’s a Celtics game tonight, let me turn that on.” I’m talking Tiger Woods at a prostitute convention kind of love. My very first outfit when I was born was a Boston Celtics onesie. No big deal. I sat through Celtics teams that started scrubs like Shammod Williams, Milt Palacio and Brandon Hunter. Hell, I was genuinely excited when the team brought in Vin Baker for veteran leadership (looking back, I’m not sure who was more stupid with their optimism, me or the Celtics).

The point I’m trying to make is; I’ve been in the Celtics’ corner forever, and only one thing in the world hurts me more than to see them struggle. That one thing is overly optimistic fans. Now, I love my mother very much and I credit her with 90 percent of my basketball knowledge but one thing she does that drives me up a wall is insist on there being hope even when everyone knows there isn’t.

I swear, the sun could blow up and she would point to the possible increase in winter coat sales. While most of the time it’s nice to have the eternal optimism, when it comes to sports, it drives me up a wall. I want to be able to yell and talk about how my team is playing awfully and will never get very far. Thus, bringing me to my most heated discussion in years: how far will the Celtics get this year? So, as not to sound biased, I will give both my stance and my mother’s stance on the current state of the Celtics and leave the conclusion to the readers.

Mom’s stance: The Celtics aren’t in as bad of a situation as people think. They have shown improvements in the past few months, especially in individual areas. While the team does struggle against easy competition sometimes, what’s important to note is they bring their A game against tougher teams and never have trouble getting amped for a big game. As far as individual improvements, she points to the development of Big Baby being able to bang down low, fight for rebounds and usually get to the line. Not only is it nice to have in general but, come playoff time, if you can get a star player in foul trouble like Big Baby tends to do, it’s a huge advantage.

Her other darling is Rajon Rondo. It’s tough to argue his improvements from last year to this. Leading the league in steals, shattering both the single season assist and steals records for the Celtics and his recent development as a threat to score. Most of last year, Rondo would be content to just hand the ball off to one of the “Big Three,” but this year he has been shooting more frequently and seems to go on scoring streaks where he will hit three or four of the same layups in a row. These are all valid arguments and also make for a promising future for the Celtics. I only have one problem; the future is the future, the playoffs are now, and they are not looking as promising. Here’s why.

My Stance: We’re old. For those who don’t know, the Celtics have four of nine players currently in the NBA who have played 1,000 or more games. That has only been done twice before in the history of the league. Coming off of an injury last year, Kevin Garnett has not been the same KG we’ve seen in the past.

He’s late on rotations (something he has always been exceptional in) and has been weaker both on the boards and shooting. In a defense that puts unbelievable emphasis on defensive rotations, KG being slow is killing us. My second point is players having lost their “team first” mentality.

This year more than ever, Paul Pierce has assumed it’s his God given right to dribble the ball for the final 14 seconds of the shot clock only to dribble to the elbow and force up a contested fade-away. In the past, it’s been a weapon but recently the shot hasn’t been falling. Typically that would be a sign to stop shooting it but, because of how stubborn Pierce is, it just turns into multiple wasted possessions. With the “Big Three” slowly turning into the “Average Three,” more has been expected of role players like Tony Allen. Unfortunately, Allen knows when the team needs more from him and it usually ends in him trying to do too much.

Usually, at least in Tony’s case, when it rains it pours, in the bad way. Sit with me for a ride along the Tony Allen incompetence train. The scene is a rivalry game against Cleveland. The Celtics lead has been shrinking ever since going up by 20 points. Tony’s man, Antawn Jamison, hits a jumper. Tony responds by turning the ball over on the next possession, which leads to Tony’s man hitting a three pointer. That’s a five-point swing in under one minute of time. Tony did come through for the team later in the game, but which Tony Allen can we count on going into the playoffs?

The Tony Allen that can cut to the basket and play defense or the Tony Allen that goaltended a three-pointer in a close game? I love the Celtics, I really do. When they won the championship against the Lakers I celebrated and cried like a little girl. The ring ceremony was one of the greatest experiences of my life and I wasn’t even on the team. I just don’t think it’s realistic to go into these playoffs expecting anything more than maybe defeating Milwaukee (if that’s who they end up playing).

So for as long as I waited to write the ‘It’s a bad time to be a Celtics fan’ column, I did learn something very important and something I believe I could agree with my mother on; The Celtics team heading into these playoffs is an enigma. We can’t quite label them as failures, but they aren’t favorites either.

I guess that’s as good a belated birthday gift as any right? Happy birthday mom. I wish you the best, Boston. I will bleed Celtic green until you are out of the playoffs, I promise. Unfortunately though, that probably won’t require too much blood.

Mike Steiner can be contacted at sports@keeneequinox.com