The Odd Couple: Why do girls suck?

Sidenote* Corey Smith will be replacing the male role in The Odd Couple for this week's edition.

Corey Smith: Okay, before I even begin to divulge why I think girls suck I have to say that both sexes definitely possess qualities that can be considered attractive and unattractive. That's just the way people are. That is also why in next week's Odd Couple we will be tackling the issue of why guys suck, just to be fair, of course. Now that I've covered my bases and will successfully avoid an onslaught of angry female readers, onto the real deal.

I'm a laid back kind of guy and I consider myself to be pretty passive when it comes to problems that girls have. However, I cannot stand it when girls get so worked up and take every little action so personally. Case in point, a guy doesn't text a girl for a day to see if she wants to hang out and the girl gets her panties all up in a bunch and automatically assumes the guy is a jerk for ignoring her. Even worse, the guy then tries to talk to the girl and gets the cold shoulder because she's upset. It's total over-analysis on the girl's part.

Girls can't even act appropriately around each other. One wrong look across the Dining Commons at another person and it's all over. ‘That girl is way too tan,' ‘you can totally see her fat over her shorts,' ‘I don't think she likes me because she gave me dirty looks one time on Appian Way.' Sometimes I just want to put a pot over my head and start banging away just to drown out all the back and forth.   

Brittny LoPresti:  So, being a female, I'm going to be straightforward and honest about this- girls totally suck.  And, yes, I'll say it- I totally suck, too.  Corey is right when he said it is inevitable for both sexes to dislike certain aspects of each other, but I'm going to go out a limb here and completely criticize myself.One thing I know that is a distinct female-ism is indecisiveness.  Sorry guys, but we can't help it. 

There's somehow a gene every woman has to be unsure about a lot of minor decisions (I'm pretty sure so that we can balance the male's impulsive behavior).  Whether it's picking out clothes or going to a restaurant, girls can be very indecisive.  But to all you men out there, I'll let you know one thing- just because a woman is indecisive, it does not mean she simply doesn't know what she wants.  Many times, we just don't like making decisions and don't mind avoiding the process. 

But trust me, you gentlemen think a woman being carelessly unsure is annoying?  Try having to give up some decisions to some less than informed men.  Now that hurts.

Corey: Thank you, Brittny, for stepping aside and analyzing not only your own behaviors, but behaviors exhibited by almost all women.

Brit brings up another great point as well, girls sometimes do know exactly what they want, but simply don't tell the guy. Sneaky, but I can understand. It's all about getting the guy to figure out things for himself so he can ultimately make the effort towards the girl.

I'll offer up another example: Your sweetie is telling you she really doesn't want that beautiful necklace in the jewelry store, its far too expensive and flashy, but it's a signal that you better get that damn necklace or you will be dealing with pouting lips and a unwavering negative attitude for possibly weeks on end.

As far as girls wanting to sometimes avoid making decisions, I can vouch for that one too. In fact, I think it would be beneficial if girls saved themselves the pain of decision-making more often. Guys can be the same way. Most of the time I don't think a guy truly cares where to go on a date or what he would really like for Valentine's Day. If expectations of each other weren't stacked so high, relationships could possibly last longer. However, I see the majority of the female population throwing a hissy fit about not getting a gift card to Macy's or being taken out to the nicest place in town.

Brittny:  Another key way in which girls are horrible is our need to speak.  We always want to have the last word, we always want to be right, we always want people to know what's going on in our lives (and the lives of many others) and so on and so forth.  Now, not all women suffer from this habitual open-mouth syndrome, although I most certainly do in some aspects, but all girls are guilty of having some of symptoms. And men, I know how much you hate this.  It's a proven fact that women actually not only use more time speaking, but also thinking.  And the last thing most guys want is to get a verbal onslaught of random facts, thoughts or feelings.  You fellows find it unnecessary, but us women see it as a needed relief sometimes. 

Another strange fact about women is the way in which we communicate with each other.  Somehow, us ladies know how to converse with one another- with words, with eyes, with hand motions- it doesn't matter.  We just get it done and we can do it fast.  Guys find it hard to keep up a lot of the times, or don't even catch a lot of things that a girl will say to a fellow female.  But that is not your fault, guys.  It can be annoying, but you just simply weren't designed as efficiently in this category as women and now it seems you will have to suffer the consequences of bewilderment for generations to come.

Corey: Pump the brakes, there Brit. I'd like to give my fellow dudes some credit here. Don't shroud yourself in a veil of complex emotion and feeling. We can be just as hard to read sometimes and I know for a fact that it can drive a girl absolutely nuts when that happens.

The point here is that girls use their communication skills differently than guys. So what if the preferred communication method of a guy is to just ask a question or make a statement instead of beating around the bush with hand and eye signals. Isn't clear and direct communication better? Maybe it's not as fun, but I would guarantee that a girl would be shattered if she found out a group of guys was using secretive language and toying with her feelings like a lot of girls do to guys.

All in all, we're not meant to always get along with each other. We're meant to argue, have different takes on the same issues and get upset with each other in order to work things out. I mean, if girls and guys lived a blissful life without any friction then wouldn't life be so boring?