Playoff proposition

During my recent semester abroad in England I spent good portions of time drinking and watching soccer. By good portions, I would say roughly 85 percent of my waking hours. I was sure my love for the sport the locals called “football” was going to translate back across the Atlantic and spread like wildfire amongst all my friends. They’d all pick a team, we’d all pitch in to pay for the Fox Soccer Network and hurl insults at each other we don’t completely understand in fake British accents.

This didn’t happen. This is because Americans hate soccer.
I don’t understand people who call soccer “boring.” People say it’s a game where nothing ever happens but, in reality, something is always happening in soccer. There’s no timeouts.
I can’t help but feel they mixed that up with American football, which a recent study showed action only happens for 11 minutes.

Then others complain it’s too low scoring.

Yet, somehow a 2-1 baseball game is the culmination of a masterpiece between two dueling pitchers.

The real reason, I believe, Americans hate soccer has less to do with the sport itself, but rather with it’s European league structure.

In the USA, we need a championship game and even more than that, we need six or seven series prior to this game to get to that point. In America, we need playoffs.
When playoffs kick off, it becomes cool to care exclusively about the destination of every team  in the tournament. It’s perfectly acceptable to ask complete strangers if they know the score of last night’s Bruins game, even if you have never watched a hockey game all season. Playoffs are what separate real sports from mere contests.

In my last column I ranted and raved about the inclusiveness of the NHL playoffs, but really I should be overjoyed to have 16 teams to watch and get to know. You can have fun watching the NBA and seeing Lebron James shoot 98 percent from the floor while dismantling the Bulls, but I’m going to be enjoying the 1-0 dog fight where the eighth seeded Colorado Avalanche and goalie Craig Anderson shut out the Western Conference points leader San Jose Sharks. You think you need a seven game series to determine if the Lakers are really a better team than the Thunder? Give me Boston Bruins vs. the Buffalo Sabres any day.

However, it’s become abundantly clear I’ve somewhat been lying to myself when I thought all teams had an equal chance of being “my team.” The playoffs have already shown me that some teams just never had a hope.

For example, I couldn’t help but squeal with delight to watch the number two seeded New Jersey Devils find themselves in an early hole down two games to one against the cinderella Philadelphia Flyers. It isn’t because I necessarily hate the Devils. They have a cool name and look backed by lots of history. They also have one of the greatest goalkeeper’s in the history of the game in Martin Brodeur (even if he is Canadian). On top of that, I’m sure as someone who prides themselves on their undeniable love for defense, I would probably be among one of the only people in the world who thought their execution of the neutral zone trap in their mid-90s Stanley Cup run was about as exciting as things got on center ice, even if almost everyone thinks it practically killed the NHL.

My reasons for never being a Devils fan are far more simplistic (and stupid). I really don’t want to ever envision a scenario in my life where I’ll say something along the lines of “Dude, got Devils tickets for tonight. Road trip to Jersey!”

Throwing the Devils on the pile, ten of the 16 teams in this year’s Stanley Cup playoffs have already been eliminated for the running of being “my team,” while another three I talked up a few weeks about as possible contenders. The other three teams are the Eastern Conference’s Philadelphia Flyers and Ottawa Senators and the Western Conference’s Colorado Avalanche.

Without going too much into the specifics about these three teams, I will say none of them look like they have much a chance of winning the Cup this year. The highest seeded of the bunch is the Senators who are fifth in the Eastern Conference. Still, a series win isn’t so much to ask from anyone. An improbable climb to the finals may not be a realistic goal, but a shock victory here and there can only be beneficial to a team and its fanbase. After the first game of each of the NHL opening round playoffs, five underdog teams had pulled off a win, and all by just one goal. If cheering for the little guy is your thing, then hockey is just about the greatest sport in the world.

Besides, if you want to watch a sport where the best teams always win, you might as well move to Europe and become a soccer fan.

Brian Anderson can be contacted at banderson@keeneequinox.com