Confessions of a reformed scaredy cat

I will tell you with all the pride I can muster up that I am that girl who screams at scary movies. I had to leave the movie theater while watching 'The Ring.' My friends tricked me into seeing 'Saw II' and I had nightmares for weeks. I cannot watch 'Ghost Hunters' in the dark or by myself- it's just not going to happen. So when my executive editor told me of his plans to check out a museum with paranormal activity, my normal reaction would have been to sit quietly in my chair, wish him luck on his endeavor and go about my day with no thoughts of ghosts or zombies or anything else like that.

I chalk my actual reaction up to the fact that I was wearing my yellow high heels, which always make me feel brave, at the time. I sat in my chair and told my editor rather decisively that I would like to tag along. I was very content with my decision, almost excited, and thus planned the mission to send me, my executive editor Randy Booth, and photo editor Ryan McKernan to Fitzwilliam, N.H. in search of something I was deathly afraid of.

In the movies, three unsuspecting college students would drive up to a house in the dark when it was raining and the wind would send chills down their spines. In reality, we drove up to the house at around 7 p.m. and it was gorgeous outside (remember last Saturday?) A woman named Terri Sillanpaa, who is the co-founder, director, historical researcher and lead investigator of the Conscious Spirit Paranormal Group, based in the Monadnock Region, greeted us. Sillanpaa led us through the house with the lights on and told us where the most activity had taken place. There is a tool room on the first floor with some sleigh bells hanging on the wall. According to Sillanpaa, the bells will ring with no one in the room. As I was being told this I took a good two steps away from the sleigh bells- better safe than sorry.

In another room a stain appeared on the floor and no matter how many times the cleaning lady took care of it, the stain would come back the next day. In the schoolroom, 11 lines were drawn on the chalkboard when no one was in the room. Toys moved in the toy room, noises came from the attic and I frantically wrote all this down while realizing I couldn't breathe. As we moved out of the tool room, I could feel my lungs reaching more air and by the time we got back to the kitchen, I could breathe normally again.

Myself, Sillanpaa and another investigator Kerry decided to venture upstairs. Before we started, Sillanpaa turned out the lights. The three of us went into a bedroom where Sillanpaa said a ghost had touched her. The bedroom was one of the most inviting rooms I had ever been in, but again, as soon as I entered I couldn't breathe. My arms felt heavy and I had to sit down. That's when Kerry's brand new batteries died in her camera. Then Sillanpaa's batteries died. Then I could not press record on my tape recorder, the button was stuck and cold. And that's when I just about lost it.

We left the bedroom and went to other rooms. Again, as soon as I left the bedroom, I could breathe again. I was in desperate need of my yellow high heels at this point.

The three of us went into the attic and used what are called dowsing rods. Sillanpaa asked if I wanted to use them, and I figured I might as well. How many times was I going to be in a dark attic with a supposed spirit?

Kerry held the flashlight on the rods and I said in my big girl voice, "Hello, my name is Lauren," and proceeded to ask the spirit questions. My reporter instincts kicked in and soon I was playing ghost matchmaker with the spirit in the attic and another one in a smaller room, which used to be an apartment. Unfortunately, through my questions we determined the woman was lonely and liked the man, but the man didn't want anything to do with the woman. I told the woman I could sympathize.

At the end of the night, we all met back in the kitchen for a meeting. Sillanpaa, Kerry and the other investigators discussed why they continued looking for spirits. One investigator, Jackson, wanted to capture the proof that no one could debunk. Others were just curious.

As I got back into Randy's car for the drive home, I felt something I hadn't in a while. I felt brave. I looked back at the house, at the pleasant look of it, at it's cute front door, at the second floor window and then I quickly scrambled into the truck before a ghost appeared and I would have to deal with nightmares for the next month.